


My Baby You'll Be

by sacredraisincakes



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-06 22:29:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16841686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacredraisincakes/pseuds/sacredraisincakes
Summary: There are some things death cannot kill, such as a mother's love for her son.





	My Baby You'll Be

Each year at Beltane, when the veil between the world of light and the world of darkness was at its thinnest, a young woman found the least secured point of the border and stepped quietly through. The halls of the castle were silent, though not as silent as the land in which she now eternally slept. Beyond them the moon shone overhead, casting a glow over the courtyard. She only paused to admire it for a moment before setting forth on the path she knew so well.

In the nursery, in the cot she'd never been given the chance to see occupied, a babe shrieked his dissatisfaction with the world at large. The woman scooped him up in her ethereal arms, bouncing him lightly.

“That's it, my little prince. Hush now, mother is here.”

Ygraine Pendragon cradled her son to her breast, resting his head on her heart. Arthur instantly soothed, clutching tiny fingers into her skin. Ignoring the little pinpricks from his nais, Ygraine brought him over to the chair by the fire, rocking him back and forth.

 _Sleep my child and peace attend thee,_  
_All through the night_  
_Guardian angels God will send thee,_  
_All through the night_  
_Soft the drowsy hours are creeping_  
_Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,_  
_I my loving vigil keeping_  
_All through the night._

When morning’s light began to break she knew she had to return to the spirit world. Gently she laid her son back in his cot. Arthur stirred, fussing, his little face scrunching up as he prepared to wail again. Ygraine leaned down and kissed him even she felt herself begin to fade.

“I love you, my darling boy.”

Each year Ygraine returned to visit her son. The first time she saw he had transitioned from his cot to a real bed she sobbed for the precious memories she had never had the chance to make with him. Arthur was fitfull in her arms that night, channeling her distress even in his sleep. Even his favourite spot with one ear to her heartbeat could not soothe him. She knew it was because it beat so quickly in despair, but she could not help it.

When Arthur was eight she found him sleeping while clutching his new wooden practice sword. She and Uther had fought about that. Uther wanted to start their son's ingratiation into the life of a knight from age five, just as his father had done with him. Ygraine had protested, wanting her boy to have a chance to be a child first. She smiled. Her husband had never been able to hold out against her whims and it seemed even now he bent to her wishes. Arthur sighed happily as she cuddled him in the rocking chair, cradling the sword like it was his own baby. She just knew he was going to grow up to be a fine warrior, defending his home and his honour.

Fourteen was the first time she found another in his room. If it hadn't been for the tear tracks on both of the children's faces, she might have been concerned about her son getting tangled up with girls so soon. She knew the dark haired child, though she'd never had the chance to meet her in life. Morgana, the baby who had born of her husband but not of their wedding bed. Ygraine had been furious when Uther admitted to their affair, and heartbroken to learn that this other woman had been so easily able to give her husband what she could not. Learning of Morgana's conception had driven her to ask her dearest friend for help, and had ended with the world as it was now, with her ghostly body laying on her son's bed, petting his golden hair and trying to chase away the nightmares of children forced to grow up too fast.

 _While the moon her watch is keeping_  
_All through the night_  
_While the weary world is sleeping_  
_All through the night_  
_O'er they spirit gently stealing_  
_Visions of delight revealing_  
_Breathes a pure and holy feeling_  
_All through the night._

She watched her son grow one year at a time. Arthur was quickly approaching the age she had been at the time of her death. And yet she never found a lover sharing his bed, despite his handsome looks and the Beltane festival. Her darling boy was always alone, particularly once Morgana became too old to come to him for comfort without servants whispering scandalously. Each year she would pick up his ever growing body that never seemed to grow any heavier, bring him to the chair by the fire, and hold him against her heart until morning.

Ygraine began to despair that her son would never find the other side to his coin, the other half of his soul. She'd wished Uther would have remarried to show Arthur what love could be, but instead he closed off his heart to all, even his own flesh and blood. She prayed Arthur would not allow that to happen to him. He deserved all the happiness and love in the world.

It wasn't until the year after her husband joined her in the realm of the dead that she came back on Beltane to find her son wrapped in the arms of another. The young man with the wispy dark hair cradled Arthur like he was something precious. When her boy began to fuss in his sleep Ygraine started forward, meaning to soothe him as she always had, but the young man beat her to it, drawing him closer and resting Arthur's head on his heart. Arthur stilled with a smile.

Ygraine felt her own human heart break in the knowledge that she would not be returning again. Her son did not need her anymore. Someone else had finally come to take her place.

She perched on the edge of the bed, reaching over to lay a hand over their joined ones, and sat vigil with her baby one last time.

 _Love, to thee my thoughts are turning_  
_All through the night_  
_All for thee my heart is yearning,_  
_All through the night._  
_Though sad fate our lives may sever_  
_Parting will not last forever,_  
_There's a hope that leaves me never,_  
_All through the night._


End file.
